One of the few efficient aspects of the Hawaii state government is the library system -- the entire state library system is available on one on-line database, and materials from any of the state libraries can be requested at no charge for delivery to the closest library for pick-up.

As I am on summer break, I have decided that, among several other objectives, I would like to read a certain number of books. My arbitrarily selected goal is twelve, or about two a week. On Saturday I logged on to the on-line library system to search for books by My Favorite Author. I have chosen to do this in the interests of trying to be less... or more... oh, what the hell... I want to get to figure out why people (meaning, of course, chicks) think this guy is all that and a side of fries. I perused the on-line catalog and requested several of his books.

Immediately thereafter I stepped outside, where my neighbor greeted me in the driveway with the exclamation, "NEIL WAS EATEN BY A DOG!"

I have no idea what my expression looked like at that point, but the neighbor interpreted it to mean I hadn't understood, so he repeated, "A DOG ATE NEIL!"

"Uhmm..." I responded slowly. Granted, a slow "uhmmm..." is my usual response in conversational settings, but in this case the "uhmm..." was slower than normal as my brain struggled to process this unexpected information. I mean, you'd think I would have seen a headline on the internet or something. "Uhmmm... when?" I finally came up with.

"This morning! A dog broke into his cage, grabbed him, and dragged him off!"

At this point the confusion began to clear. "Oh," I said, "Neil. You mean, one of the rabbits?"

The neighbor has, or had, two rabbits in a ramshackle hutch behind his house. I knew one of them was named Peppy. I didn't know the other rabbit was called Neil.

So Neil was eaten by a dog. But not That Neil.