If I were to actually purchase a guitar, how likely would i be to, you know, learn to play? Even if it were as wickedly gnarly as this one:
Or perhaps a bass, instead:
The idea of learning to play the guitar has crossed my mind from time to time, as I'm sure it has for almost everyone. A complete lack of musical talent, however, (I have been unable to master even the simplest of ukulele chords), and a rather sparse interest in music in general (I am definitely not one of those people who leave the car radio in the "on" position; in fact, I don't even own an iPod!), suggests that a guitar, even one as outrageously awesome as these, would be little more than another expensive dustcatcher.
Still, on those rare occasions when I hear The Troggs flailing through Wild Thing, I find myself wondering, "what if?" I mean, how cool would it be to just once be able to saunter out onto a stage and shred a couple of surf guitar classics like Apache or Sleepwalk, or stomp through a version of the DC5's Bits & Pieces?
I know it's a lot harder than it looks, or sounds. That's what sets the pros apart from the amateurs... they make it look and sound easy, when it's not.
I wouldn't even know how to go about beginning to learn how to play the guitar, or in particular, how to play it well and "by ear." I took piano lessons for several years in my younger youth, and I never once felt I had learned how to play the piano. I could sort of read music from books, and learn to haltingly play simple pieces through laborious practice. But the music never "flowed." I never learned to improvise, to "jam," to transpose keys, or even sight read -- the things that just come naturally to the musically talented.
The people I've known who can play an instrument are generally capable of playing several instruments. The music is natural to them. Keyboards or the piano seem like nothing to them. I fear that, having never been comfortable at a piano, despite lessons, I would never be able to play the guitar.
Besides, it's something I should have tried when I was 14, as opposed to... within a year of my Ouija-ordained demise.
Would I have the will to practice? Would I keep going despite frustration? Could I learn how to learn? Would it actually be slightly eccentrically cool to thrash with a Hello Kitty guitar, or would it just be embarrassingly peculiar? Could I ever "thrash," or "shred," or "rip," or "jam," or figure out how to play along with other people?
Maybe I should practice with GarageBand first. It's on the computer, but I"ve never even opened the program.
Whatever. I'll see if the interest is still there after Christmas. It might just be a temporary escapist fantasy as I struggle to adapt to my tiring and frustrating new teaching position.
On an unrelated note ("note," get it? Har har!), I'm still unhappy and embarrassed about faring so miserably in NaNoWriMo.