August 12th, 2006


(no subject)

"A 64-ounce Double Gulp from 7-11 is equivalent to how many twelve-ounce cans of soda?"

I attended a "student teaching orientation seminar" today. Needless to say, I came away somewhat irritated. Granted, I was in a crummy mood from the time I got up in the morning... probably because I knew I had to go to the stupid seminar.

I should have a better attitude about these things, right? After all, I'm gonna be a teacher. In theory.

Here's the deal. The woman from the U of Phoenix who's in charge of the student teaching program is very "old school." That's a nice way to say it. You could also say she's a "rich bitch from Hawaii Kai." She had to mention, during her opening remarks, that she lived in Hawaii Kai. She told a "humorous anecdote" about the first time she was exposed to a school setting outside of Kahala... laughing as she told us it had never occurred to her that not everyone drove BMWs and Cadillacs like the middle class.

Gosh, somehow I always considered myself middle class, but I've never owned a BMW. Yes, I've owned Cadillacs... none of which I ever paid more than $600 for... not the kind of Cadillacs she was talking about.

As an aside, the next time you hear a teacher whine about being underpaid, I strongly encourage you to step outside with your handy Swiss army knife and slash the tires on their BMW.

Anyway, she got started on the "hair" thing. Now, out of 25 student teachers there are only two males, and one of them, who isn't me, has a shaved head. She started talking about "professionalism" and having hair "off the collar." She also mentioned "no bare midriffs" for the women.

Now, I already knew this woman was like this. And yes, before I begin my classroom work, I fully plan to get a haircut.

But, like, I don't think my hair is really all that long right now. Certainly not so long that I should be singled out in front of all the student teachers, cooperating teachers, and teaching supervisors. And, "technically," my hair doesn't touch my collar... it just sticks out sideways like Larry of the Three Stooges.Collapse )

(no subject)

Dear Morons Who Drive Oversized SUVs:

Your Chevrolet Suburban is NOT a "compact" car. And your car... excuse me, your "rig," is supposed to fit between those white lines that delineate parking spaces ("delineate" means "shows you where it is"). If it doesn't fit between the lines, that does not mean park across two spaces. Also, please explain to me why you're parked in front of Border's Books, because, quite obviously, you have have never learned to read.

Oh, wait. Maybe that explains why Borders has recently become a video store.

Sincerely -- d