April 3rd, 2002



If you're interested in selling things on eBay, you might check out my recent listing for BELL SCIENCE laserdiscs. Search for me by eBay user name, puuikibeach. Read thru my listing (posted April 2 -- running for ten days). You'll find a "little bit" of, er, sarcasm.

After you've read my listing, bear in mind that my auctions rarely bring high bids. Whereas a friend of mine [newsphotog1] routinely pulls in comparatively high prices -- with one or two sentence descriptions, and no photos.

Learn from this. It will be to your economic advantage.

My Disney Book

I sold my Disney book on eBay. It was a big, thick, heavy book, "The Art of Walt Disney: from Mickey Mouse to the Magic Kingdoms," by Christopher Finch.

It only brought $20.00.

My mother would probably be disappointed to know that I'd sold it, and for only $20.00. I'm sure she paid more than that when she bought it for me as a present quite a few years ago.

But it was time to let it go. Because it made me sad.

Don't get me wrong, it was a very nice book. And it didn't always make me sad. I loved it when I got it. I was really into Disney at the time. Kinda strange, isn't it -- a lot of teenage boys seem to go thru a "Disney" phase. It's not just an objective interest, it's a very deep, emotional kind of attraction. I've been there, but I don't understand it.

Anyway, over the past several years it's been hard to try to take care of such a big, heavy book. I wanted to keep it nice, you know. But I've spent more time keeping it "safe" than I have looking at or reading it. It's spent a lot of time buried away in one box or another. So from that angle, it was becoming kind of a hassle to keep it.

And, it was making me sad. I felt sad and pathetic when this book reminded me of my Disney obsession, which now seems childish and stupid. It wouldn't seem childish if it had been an interest from when I was, like, nine or ten. But as a mid- to late-teen....? And I felt sadder still when I thought back to wanting to be a "Disney Artist" someday.

Someday. That will be the topic of another post. Someday.

I had these Daydreams, really, rather than true goals or ambitions, of becoming a Disney artist. Not that I have the talent to be an animation artist anyway. Maybe subconsciously I realized that, I don't know. What I do know is that I never put forth any effort to develop any talent or skill or ability that I might have had. It was just, "someday I'm gonna go to the California Academy of Arts and become a Disney artist."

I should have had my sketchbooks and pencils with me all the time. I didn't. I should have been practicing, drawing, painting, sketching, all the time. I wasn't. Nothing more than doodling in the margins of my notes in school. I should have been APPLYING myself in art classes, putting in extra time, expressing serious interest, really trying to LEARN from the instructors. But I didn't do any of that. I just drifted along with my little daydreams of "someday." And sometimes I'd leaf thru my big Disney book.

So whenever I looked at that book now, I felt sad. And angry, angry at myself, angry for my failure. If I had genuinely tried and failed, I might feel differently. Then I'd know that, well, that just wasn't my style, or my talent, or my gift. But I'm angry because my failure to achieve is a direct result of my failure to try.

There are only a few things in my life I've ever REALLY wanted to do, as far as careers go. Animation artist is one of those. Film-maker is another. And professional writer. I suppose you could count Paleontologist, if you go back to my early grade-school days. But that includes like just about everybody, doesn't it? But of the few things I've REALLY wanted to do, I've seriously pursued NONE of them. And now the residue of those interests, when I run across it, saddens and angers me.

So there are two things to do. One, when I run across this STUFF, like my Disney book, eliminate it. Two, decide where my REAL interests lie today, and PURSUE them; don't PLAY at them; don't DAYDREAM about them; DO THEM!

Yeah. Like I have the time.

Maybe someday.

Comic Book Shops

I had a day off from work today... which is a story in and of itself. Anyway, having no sense of what real priorities are, I used the opportunity to visit a number of comic book shops. These would be the shops that have IGNORED my recent e-mails. But we'll let that slide, for now.

Okay, so, I have a list with me of what I'm starting to collect, so I know what to look for. At the last shop of the day, I ask for one of the manga titles I haven't been able to find. The guy at the desk sez he thought he'd seen it, he'd have to ask, and he goes into the back of the shop. Then I hear the manager say, "oh, yeah, that's one of those KIDDIE PORN titles!" Then he comes walking out, looks kind of embarassed, and sez they must have sold 'em all off the rack.

I kept a straight face, but I was actually cracking up. "KIDDIE PORN!" I love it! A comic book shop manager with a major sarcastic attitude! That's the kind of shop I want to frequent!

(Not to mention, they do normally carry this particular "KIDDIE PORN" title)

Interestingly, this shop is one of the outlets who IGNORED my e-mails. But after I'd been poking around in there for half an hour or so, the guy at the counter -- a reasonably nice guy as opposed to the sarcastic manager -- asked if I wanted to set up a subscription box. So I had him explain how that worked. I didn't tell him I'd E-MAILED them for this same info last week. So I'll probably set up a subscription, since they did NOT HAVE Vampi #16 yet! My MAIN reason for wasting a day driving around to comic book shops.

(One of the shops had one copy left of Ish #2 of my fave "KIDDIE PORN" title). Found #1 and #2 of "Ragnarok," and the first "Chobits" graphic novel (which is probably considered another "KIDDIE PORN" title -- in fact, name a manga that is NOT a "KIDDIE PORN" title).

(I'm wondering how many times I can use the term "KIDDIE PORN" in a post before LiveJournal kicks me off. Hey, look, it's a JOKE, man! Don't blame me, blame the Comic Book guy!)

(no subject)

I think I have consumed too much soda pop today (who would have thought such a thing were possible), and too much sugar, and now I'm feeling... odd.
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Boppin' Around at Random

So I've been kinda boppin' around using the "Find at Random" feature tonight, and despite my initial misgivings about some of the standard LJ templates, I gotta tell ya, the one I'm using now, at least, is READABLE!

Man, some of these people, using, like, 'teeny tiny' print, orange on red and stuff... what's the point? You can't even see it!

I guess there's something to be said for plain ol' black & white.

(But at least people are expressing themselves creatively, which is cool)

[[And most of the people expressing themselves creatively ARE cool, with a couple of kinda creepy exceptions -- and no, Lauren (if you come to visit), you are NOT the creepy exception (sorry to disappoint you!)((I'm kidding, you know that, right?? ;-) )) ]]

And that "beatnik" quiz over at natasha's journal is, like, solid, daddy-o!