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Hands of Fate

Saw a couple of movies on DVD over the weekend. National Treasure had some clever dialog, and the sidekick guy was kinda funny. I'd give it two-and-a-half "Hands of Fate."

Team America, a "satire" of sorts using puppets ("marionettes," actually, but I didn't want to double-check the spelling) by those South Park guys, was alternately boring and disgusting. Not disgusting merely for the content, but for the fact that somebody actually put up a lot of money to make that film! Team America warrants a strong four "Hands of Fate."

(Note: the "Hands of Fate" rating system, suggested by Pastilla, is an inverse rating system necessitated by the inability of standard film-rating scales to adequately describe Spielberg's recent travesty, War of the Worlds. Hence, WOTW rates a full five Hands of Fate, an achievement which, arguably, surpasses that of the basis film for the scale, the inimitable Manos. The goal for a film, obviously, is to rate as few Hands of Fate as possible. Offhand (nyuk nyuk) I can't think of any film meriting less than a single Hand of Fate).

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